The question here is not related to what he thinks of you or even how he may reply based on your rejection of his advances. The question is: Who do you want to be? We shape ourselves by our actions each and everyday. We are, hopefully, questioning on a regular basis how we may improve ourselves. This is the clue on how a woman should respond to a man whom sent her an online dating message yet she is not interested in dating. This is not to leave out the men in the world of dating whom should also decide on the how to offer a rejection with these same thoughts in mind.
- Do you strive to be the kind of person that lives by the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have done to you”?
- Are you the kind of the person who prefers to avoid conflict and, as such, does not wish to open a door that may hold unpleasantness on the other side?
- Do you believe that you would be doing a service by giving specific advice to these men that may help them in their future romantic endeavors?
You must decide who you want to be in life and respond in a way that aligns with that vision — unrelated to how the person may respond. As evidenced by a piece written by Silk of SinglesSlamDance.wordpress.com, titled, “Online Rejects: Tell the Truth or Ignore,” male respondents gave conflicting responses on how a woman should respond to a message from a man that she doesn’t want to date. As the woman, the reply you will receive from your rejection message depends on the personality of the man with whom you are dealing. His interpretation of your response, or lack thereof, and his reply are both in his hands to mold as he sees fit. Just as you, he is also responsible for deciding who he wants to be in life and crafts that image with his actions and reactions to rejections he gives and receives.
The simple fact is that you cannot control how another person will respond to your rejection no matter how it is worded, because we are all different people with unique views on how life’s play must be acted out. Do try to remain polite in your response — knowing that your view on what polite looks like may differ from the other person’s definition. A prime example here is how one person is okay with a simple ignoring of a message to avoid the direct rejection, while another is offended. As such, responses and replies will continue to be as distinct and varied as the people you will encounter.
In the end, you must decide what feels right to you. Dig deep, make your choice, change your choice if it makes you feel guilty or if you feel the situation warrants an alternative approach, and find your center. Ultimately, you have to live with the behavior of the woman (or man) in the mirror, so respond accordingly.